Monday, March 31, 2008
...of late i have been feeling really lonely. Just listening to the sound of silence... counting the seconds after seconds with me .. breath by breath...
Friends with whom I used to talk to .. look eagerly forward to talking to them seem to have changed... may be its for their better... I just wish them the good in whatever they do...
This is just a phase and will pass soon...that i am sure...
A small success in anything would do a lot to motivate me...
...what form that success will be.. I am not aware... and cannot think of.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
This was the meditation room at the Buddhist Monastery here in Bloomington.
The ambiance does indeed play a huge role in these religious places.
I just love it whenever I visit any religious place. The feeling is bliss. I spend some time there and let go of the things of the world. Just try to make the connection with the almighty... or perhaps just try to listen to the voice of one's own soul.
One thing that I have tried a lot and failed miserably at is trying to keep the mind free of thought. All meditations lead to this state, but for me it appears to be just impossible.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
..everyday a thought crosses my mind.
break the barriers and escape.
let the freedom take me..
let the paths of life take me where it wants..
somehow i stop.
many would say Just do it.. however its not that easy as it sounds.. there are many issues that keep troubling me.. and prohibit me from doing so..
hopefully my mind will understand it better someday.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Often there are times when the mood is low and things just seem gloomy gloomy....
The confusion does set in.. and it turns into mountains of negative feelings at times..
ya.. patience is the key indeed.. and have been doing that a lot of late...
Have you ever had these feelings of getting the signs of something you know is right and you want to do it. but you don't feel like doing it for some reason. maybe its the insecurity... May be the unsureness ahead...or maybe just fear...yesterday during a phone interview the person said to me, you should take up photography as a career..
How i wish i could...
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Everytime I fail.. I remember god...(Its not that I do not when I succeed).
And they give me more strength.. they make me more strong..
Every failures are the pillars of my future success...
As designers, one of the things we are taught is to fail. You learn from every failure.
Every time a big company rejects my application, I say to myself.. its their loss! I was overqualified for them! I know thats a strong attitude to take... but it helps me stay focused. I cannot sit and repent for not getting through that company!
It makes me desire to not work for the big companies all the more strong. Hopefully someday soon I will have my own company. Thats one thing in which I definitely need the divine help a lot.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
...have you ever had this feeling...
You being in deep waters.. and you know that the shore is near.. the road ahead is better there .. all you perhaps need is a bit of patience and perseverance..
You can see it...its there...
but the situations just let you walk out of the deeper waters...
So what do you do in such situation?
Monday, March 24, 2008
I had an epiphany today. It brought back the urge to study. There are a few incidents that change the way you do a few things. The thing that was going wrong with me finally seems to be rectified by that one talk. Ideally that person was blasting me and my cover letter and resume, so called critiquing, but I just went on listening. It was easy and I could have simply refused to listen more. This is something that a friend Monika writes in her blog.
After the talk which went about for an hour, I introspected. I realized that not all of what he said was true of me. But owing to his stature, I could not argue. I decided to keep quiet. Ultimately it all boils down to what I want to take out of it. So I filtered out the things I felt that would help me improve the way I am doing things.
It's strange but that person without knowing much about me, was still able to give me an answer to questions that I was seeking to find for long.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
when you are not strong..
when everthing around you seems to be going wrong..
when there is no one in sight,
when nothing seems to be going right..
hold you head high..
let not the troubled waters create the storms..
let in not falter your base
and the belief you have in yourself
the waters will recede,
the fears will surpass,
its just a matter of time.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Something definitely is wrong in the way I have been approaching things of late. I guess I need some enlightenment in terms of a better way of doing things.
Somehow the results are not coming and people say that all that you need is patience. I have had that a lot, but somehow of late I seem to be loosing it soon.
Testing times I guess.. I am sure it will pass off soon.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
This definitely was the cutest monastery that I have visited.
Located on the outskirts of the city, hidden in a forest, beside a water creek.
An awesome place to be. I was there last Monday.
Why is it that we feel so much at peace at a place of worship? A temple, a church, a mosque, a monastery... all such places I visit, I find an amazing peace in the ambiance and environment there.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Was just feeling low the whole day today ..
I guess it was the bad news... or just solitude?
Whatever it was.. I hope to be back to my bubbly self tomorrow..
Incidences that I have no control over and are against my expectations .. tend to hurt me.. and i become a completely different person... Need to change that...
Can't let it get over me.. Need to just let it go.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Many a times the thought arises that I should force myself to doing something. Now there is no joy in that. The heart fails to acknowledge that it is a thing that one is enjoying doing. This would perhaps lead to doing things just for the sake of doing and I hate that.
The water when first starts flowing, has to force itself to find the path. When this happens over a period of time, a direction is created. A pathway that is followed, without any problem. The appearance as if it has been just fine that way since a long time.
Should I do the same?
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Have you ever reached a road block?
When all the efforts you put in seem to go in vain?
The results don't show, and the frustration just piles up.... and the pessimism begins to set in..
And if thats not enough, other people around you keep making the progress....
Doesn't that thought kill you?
Friday, March 7, 2008
..that the easiest thing to do is smile.
..that at times the hardest thing to do is smile...
if smiles were contagious,
i would spread it to make all places a happy place to be...
i would not cease to make you laugh...
Smile.. and laugh... and spread the smile..
Thursday, March 6, 2008
One of the worst thoughts in the world is knowing that you are being neglected by a person you care for.
The thought just kills you. Every time you think of interacting with the person, the thought that he/she might not read or interact with you in the first place, horrifies you.
You think you should drop a msg to say you care, but the other person might not even care to look at it.
This then sends you into a negative frame of mind. Things around you start looking weird. Then there is this whole pessimism that sets in.
Its then that the mind starts playing games with you. The heart will try to convince you to forget it, its not a big thing...After all there are many more people in the world you can care for.. Many more that would appreciate what you do for them...
So who do you listen to .. the mind or the heart... and again these turmoils start....
and it goes on .. and on .. and you just want to get it out of your mind... and you wait relentlessly for any of the two possibilities... either you motivate yourself to forget and move on.. or you wait desperately for the things to set back to as it was...
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
I think we all should from time to time do this. Over a period there are somethings that you feel went wrong. The optimistic mind would say, let things happen the way they are. It has happened because it was meant to happen. Or rather say, was in my destiny that it had to happen.
Now I am a strong believer in luck. The harder I work, the luckier I get.
From time to time, I pause. Take a deep breath. Look around and reflect. The reflection is not meant to be a way to think how I could have changed what happened, but rather as a motivation of how I would do things in the future.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Wonder how many people in the world are trapped in situations that they don't want to be in.
Situations govern such people.
Some are also trapped due to the society pressure.
Some simply don't have the freedom to change things.
For some its time before the freeze melts and life moves out of the trap.
Some simply don't want to change or get out of the trap without an effort.
Its the last category that I despise!
And Ironically I feel like that since the past few days... and the feeling is so bad.